This is my personal blog, a journal of my life; my blog of pretty things (et cetera) is here. Twenty-three. Might as well be five.
I just moved to Portland, OR, so if you're a Portland-living person, say hi! New friends for a new city are much appreciated.
constantly reading / grad student / retail management / overzealous editor / chronic paparazzo / lesbian / feminist / atheist
about me & personal & photobooth & gpoy

flickr.com/rileyanne


DON'T GIVE NONE FUCKS.
April 29th
5:10 PM
Look who came to visit and try to steal my orange juice!
Culture Shock was this weekend. Discovered that no one really wanted to actually do Culture Shock this year, which was a relief, because I just wanted to see everyone all in one place and didn’t really care about any of the music (except Mal) and it was cold and oh my god too cold and too loud. I hung out with Roisin, Mal, Jessie, Chrissy and Erica for a bit, saw Tara and spent most of the night in Rachel’s studio, where Jakob eventually joined us. Anti-Shock again, and it was nice.

Look who came to visit and try to steal my orange juice!

Culture Shock was this weekend. Discovered that no one really wanted to actually do Culture Shock this year, which was a relief, because I just wanted to see everyone all in one place and didn’t really care about any of the music (except Mal) and it was cold and oh my god too cold and too loud. I hung out with Roisin, Mal, Jessie, Chrissy and Erica for a bit, saw Tara and spent most of the night in Rachel’s studio, where Jakob eventually joined us. Anti-Shock again, and it was nice.

December 23rd
3:53 AM
The TAG party last night was very surreal. Ted, Aaron, Adam & Russ hosted at their huge house in Ann Arbor, which has a bar in the attic that they call The Dandy Penguin. Katie, Rachel and I were the first to show up. Since most of us came into the program in either 3rd or 4th grade, most of us have known each other since we were 8 or 9. And walking around the party talking to people, it’s pretty clear that we were in the program for a reason—multiple people had graduated this semester (Anastas a full year early), practically every person you talked to was planning on grad school (Aaron has already been accepted into PhD programs), almost everyone is still really invested in their work and we all appear destined for success.
There were a few people I was surprised to see, and surprised to see how long they stayed. Some people put on airs about being above the program, having moved on to bigger and better things, but when you do the math, it’s hard to ignore the importance of the group. 60 peers who were your main interaction for 6-10 years of your life. Even when the program had technically ended, we were still together all the time in advanced classes in high school. So much talking, I lost my voice about an hour in—apparently I hadn’t used it much during finals week.
I kept calling it a game, a contest of who’s the most successful right now. (Anastas, Aaron, but then who?) And in a way I felt like I had to prove myself. I had to look especially nice, and I wanted to look particularly like myself, the cultivated image of me. Yes, I just graduated a few days ago, yeah, applying to grad schools. For some reason I felt it very important to be very out, even though I was out in high school and everyone knew already—I felt like I had to reiterate it whenever the opportunity arose, yes, still a homogay, still proud. Internalized homophobia, or what? No clue.
We played 10 fingers at my suggestion. I was never a leader in elementary school, but now I can’t stop myself from directing social situations. Everyone liked the idea of the game (well, Monica said she “really didn’t want to know,” which is reasonable) and after a half hour of cajoling, we played down in the living room. Marissa, Sayre and I sat in front of the fireplace, the trio back together once more. Marissa was out first, followed by me and Danielle. Interesting to see who’s abstained from what.
Marissa and I left with the intention of getting to the Taco Bell by our houses before it closed, but got caught by a train (ugh, Plymouth problems) and pulled into the drive through to find that the website lied, they’re not open until 4am anymore. So we went to Zack’s, because while the Grecian is right next to Taco Bell, Zack’s has the more impressive late night specials. A $3 plate of 2 eggs, hash browns and toast. Saganaki, opa! Many, many glasses of water. Rachel texted around 4 hoping we were at Zack’s, because that’s what people in Plymouth do after a night out, and she joined us and got her own plate of eggs. It was nice to sit there with Marissa and Rachel and recap the night, because it didn’t really feel real to me.

The TAG party last night was very surreal. Ted, Aaron, Adam & Russ hosted at their huge house in Ann Arbor, which has a bar in the attic that they call The Dandy Penguin. Katie, Rachel and I were the first to show up. Since most of us came into the program in either 3rd or 4th grade, most of us have known each other since we were 8 or 9. And walking around the party talking to people, it’s pretty clear that we were in the program for a reason—multiple people had graduated this semester (Anastas a full year early), practically every person you talked to was planning on grad school (Aaron has already been accepted into PhD programs), almost everyone is still really invested in their work and we all appear destined for success.

There were a few people I was surprised to see, and surprised to see how long they stayed. Some people put on airs about being above the program, having moved on to bigger and better things, but when you do the math, it’s hard to ignore the importance of the group. 60 peers who were your main interaction for 6-10 years of your life. Even when the program had technically ended, we were still together all the time in advanced classes in high school. So much talking, I lost my voice about an hour in—apparently I hadn’t used it much during finals week.

I kept calling it a game, a contest of who’s the most successful right now. (Anastas, Aaron, but then who?) And in a way I felt like I had to prove myself. I had to look especially nice, and I wanted to look particularly like myself, the cultivated image of me. Yes, I just graduated a few days ago, yeah, applying to grad schools. For some reason I felt it very important to be very out, even though I was out in high school and everyone knew already—I felt like I had to reiterate it whenever the opportunity arose, yes, still a homogay, still proud. Internalized homophobia, or what? No clue.

We played 10 fingers at my suggestion. I was never a leader in elementary school, but now I can’t stop myself from directing social situations. Everyone liked the idea of the game (well, Monica said she “really didn’t want to know,” which is reasonable) and after a half hour of cajoling, we played down in the living room. Marissa, Sayre and I sat in front of the fireplace, the trio back together once more. Marissa was out first, followed by me and Danielle. Interesting to see who’s abstained from what.

Marissa and I left with the intention of getting to the Taco Bell by our houses before it closed, but got caught by a train (ugh, Plymouth problems) and pulled into the drive through to find that the website lied, they’re not open until 4am anymore. So we went to Zack’s, because while the Grecian is right next to Taco Bell, Zack’s has the more impressive late night specials. A $3 plate of 2 eggs, hash browns and toast. Saganaki, opa! Many, many glasses of water. Rachel texted around 4 hoping we were at Zack’s, because that’s what people in Plymouth do after a night out, and she joined us and got her own plate of eggs. It was nice to sit there with Marissa and Rachel and recap the night, because it didn’t really feel real to me.

July 9th
3:58 PM
Rachel bought these necklaces at Art in the Park today.

Rachel bought these necklaces at Art in the Park today.

July 2nd
10:34 PM
look at the great faces I can make!

look at the great faces I can make!

10:33 PM
pretty pretty portrait princess!

pretty pretty portrait princess!

10:30 PM
double exposure of Rachel in the field the other day

double exposure of Rachel in the field the other day

June 30th
9:14 PM
Katie joined us just in time for the sunset!

Katie joined us just in time for the sunset!

8:10 PM
Rachel in the field, photographing flowers.

Rachel in the field, photographing flowers.

June 26th
10:15 PM
Rachel and me at the pool enjoying the summer solstice.

Rachel and me at the pool enjoying the summer solstice.

June 21st
6:19 PM
Rachel at the pool today, taken with an app I just downloaded called Vignette.

Rachel at the pool today, taken with an app I just downloaded called Vignette.

December 31st
7:39 PM
2010 in photos (by month)
There were other photos from these months that I wanted to use! July especially. Maggie’s Roaring 20s party and my first Chicago trip of the summer. People in the photos are all named when relevant.
january: so many great parties (Ali found a sign somewhere?) — february: Dan Deacon at the Stood — march: Zombie Prom (necessary stop in the hall of mirrors with Pie and Stevie) — april: Eric having experiences at Culture Shock — may: weekend nights out on the lawn (Deathron, Ali, Chrissy, Elan) — june: hanging with the Moving Mountains boys on their tour (Marissa, Kenny, Josh, Frank) — july: sunset chasing and firefly catching (Rachel, Alex, Bridget, StephCoz) — august: second Chicago trip of the summer (Allie, Stevie) — september: becoming friends with the most fantastic people in the world (Chelsie, Annie, Rachel) — october: woodsventure with Rachel and Suzanne — november: Menya playing at Women Out Loud — december: omfg I have a lensbaby and I missed Marissa this semester

2010 in photos
(by month)

There were other photos from these months that I wanted to use! July especially. Maggie’s Roaring 20s party and my first Chicago trip of the summer. People in the photos are all named when relevant.

january: so many great parties (Ali found a sign somewhere?) — february: Dan Deacon at the Stood — march: Zombie Prom (necessary stop in the hall of mirrors with Pie and Stevie) — april: Eric having experiences at Culture Shock — may: weekend nights out on the lawn (Deathron, Ali, Chrissy, Elan) — june: hanging with the Moving Mountains boys on their tour (Marissa, Kenny, Josh, Frank) — july: sunset chasing and firefly catching (Rachel, Alex, Bridget, StephCoz) — august: second Chicago trip of the summer (Allie, Stevie) — september: becoming friends with the most fantastic people in the world (Chelsie, Annie, Rachel) — october: woodsventure with Rachel and Suzanne — november: Menya playing at Women Out Loud — december: omfg I have a lensbaby and I missed Marissa this semester

December 20th
6:10 PM
Rachel came over last night for tea and a chat, forcing me to be social. It was exactly what I needed. Her semester was a lot like mine, only I’m pretty sure she has twice as much to do because she’s also on the boards for a bunch of honors things. She won’t be around much this break, so we had to catch up really fast before she leaves.
Plus mom & I decorated our tree, which is always kind of bittersweet for me because Grandpa always gave me an ornament each year. This one’s a frog bride, one of my favorites. He had dozens of grandchildren but I’m the only one who got special gifts like this. I didn’t know that until recently, years after he died. I miss him a lot. So the ornaments are a nice reminder of him.

Rachel came over last night for tea and a chat, forcing me to be social. It was exactly what I needed. Her semester was a lot like mine, only I’m pretty sure she has twice as much to do because she’s also on the boards for a bunch of honors things. She won’t be around much this break, so we had to catch up really fast before she leaves.

Plus mom & I decorated our tree, which is always kind of bittersweet for me because Grandpa always gave me an ornament each year. This one’s a frog bride, one of my favorites. He had dozens of grandchildren but I’m the only one who got special gifts like this. I didn’t know that until recently, years after he died. I miss him a lot. So the ornaments are a nice reminder of him.

November 1st
9:17 PM
Should we let the wild animals play with the sparklers?

Should we let the wild animals play with the sparklers?

July 12th
1:39 AM
Rachel has that camera that does digital panoramas. It’s pretty fucking awesome.

Rachel has that camera that does digital panoramas. It’s pretty fucking awesome.

July 8th
4:09 AM

tonight, perfection:

  • I drove, for the first time in what I feel comfortable calling forever. I did not crash into any trees. In fact, I did pretty damn well.
  • The sunset was beautiful. Rachel and I haven’t sunset chased in weeks, and it was nice to sit on the hill with cigarettes, reconnecting with people, letting the sunset come to us for once.
  • I liked that everyone kind of filtered up to us, by ones and twos, so that the odd amalgam of people didn’t seem too strange. I showed up to Alex and Stephanie, and we walked over to Rachel, and then Bridget biked over, Marissa and Jessica came together and Monica came last.
  • At the top of the hill, just as the sun dipped below the trees, the wind picked up and there was a brief spattering of rain. In the heavy heat of the evening, the respite was more than welcome.
  • The fireflies appeared all at once, to my account. For once in my life, I had a hard time catching them. Rachel caught one every few minutes, and I’m still not sure how.
  • I sat on the ground doing long exposures of Rachel’s wine bottle of lightning bugs, and sustained at least 15 mosquito bites.
  • The Grecian with Alex, Stephanie, Bridget, Lissa and Katielynn. So many old stories I’d half forgotten about, a dynamic I didn’t realized I’d missed. It was exactly how I’d like my summer to go.
  • Lissa and I walked around downtown for a while, and found Katina & TimThom with some of their friends at the Bean. More memories. I love that clandestine feeling, that you’ll always know someone at the Bean but it’s roulette as to who it will be. We talked of starting a company called Friendly Intrusions, which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. We practiced the Charleston in a parking lot. We spun on lamp posts. 
  • I was tired when I came home, but I couldn’t resist staying up and editing the photos. I feel so good about everything right now.