So the dancing was fun. But she brought her babygay friend (like brand new, out for two weeks babygay) and also was meeting up with some girl from okcupid and yeah, things obviously changed between last time and this time that I should have picked up on but didn’t. I kissed her once but apparently was not on my game because my flirting was only mildly effective (no one is surprised). (Actually wait, I was getting hit on all night by a number of ladies and two annoying dudes, so my game was on point, it just wasn’t working with her.)
So at one point I turned around and she was making out with her friend, so I went and got another shot because obviously the solution was to get more drunk (wrong) and when I came back they were still making out, so I just kept dancing and waited for them to be done.
At the end of the night they disappeared, and then when I was outside calling myself a cab I ran into them and they ended up (mostly out of a sense of obligation, I’m pretty sure) giving me a ride home. Well, almost all the way home. We got downtown and we were listening to Closer (because lesbians) and Portland is lots of annoying one way streets, so they went “can you find your way from here?” and yeah, I could, no big deal, just two blocks, so I got out of the car. She got out, apparently to hug me goodbye, only decided to tackle-hug me.
She tackled me into the pavement, and while I didn’t pass out, in retrospect I was distinctly disoriented and kept repeating the same thing over and over and insisting I was okay. Because I thought I was. Then I woke up the next morning and realized I had a concussion.
Not a bad concussion, but definitely a concussion.
And I haven’t heard from her since.
And that, ladies and gentlemen of the internet, is why I won’t be dating girls I meet at work anymore.