I went to Neil Gaiman’s reading. I met one of my favorite authors as he signed a first edition of his new book, and I shamelessly name-dropped someone we both know.

And he asked for a hug.

One of the people I most admire and respect in this world hugged me today.

I said “Thank you. For every book, for every word,” as he then signed my copy of Good Omens.

And I walked home grinning like an idiot, resisting the urge to read Ocean as I walked because getting hit by a car would have been a foolish way to end the day.

1 year ago  #Neil Gaiman #my life  4 notes
Thanks to sulfate-free shampoo my hair is finally drying curly (with the exception of the bits that have been bleached to shit), and the not-red section is currently this awesome raspberry + orchid combo, and IT’S FALLING OUT. MY HAIR IS FALLING OUT.
Not shaving my head yet. Waiting until I can’t avoid it any longer, just in case it, you know, decides to be nice and stop with this nonsense. (Unlikely, but a girl can dream.)
Also I don’t know what’s up with my nails so I’m just pretending they’re going to be okay because let’s be real, I’ll need a giant fucking daily dose of valium if my nails fall off. Strengthening polish + color to hide the weird looking parts. 
My blog is basically just a record of my recovery from Toxic Shock Syndrome right now and will likely continue to be that and little else for a good while.

Thanks to sulfate-free shampoo my hair is finally drying curly (with the exception of the bits that have been bleached to shit), and the not-red section is currently this awesome raspberry + orchid combo, and IT’S FALLING OUT. MY HAIR IS FALLING OUT.

Not shaving my head yet. Waiting until I can’t avoid it any longer, just in case it, you know, decides to be nice and stop with this nonsense. (Unlikely, but a girl can dream.)

Also I don’t know what’s up with my nails so I’m just pretending they’re going to be okay because let’s be real, I’ll need a giant fucking daily dose of valium if my nails fall off. Strengthening polish + color to hide the weird looking parts.

My blog is basically just a record of my recovery from Toxic Shock Syndrome right now and will likely continue to be that and little else for a good while.

1 year ago  #photobooth #my life #gpoy #toxic shock syndrome #toxic shock #tss 

ughhhhhhhhhhh this whole time I’ve been mostly okay with the desquamation because it was only my fingers but I just noticed two spots on my right palm that are prepping to go and EW, as if I weren’t disgusting enough already, let’s just throw peeling palms into the mix

my hands are gross I am gross toxic shock syndrome is gross

like how many customers have noticed my fingers and been disgusted but not said anything? I can only imagine

and today Mario said something about how they made him shudder and how it must hurt, and I had to explain that yeah they look chapped but actually the peeling doesn’t hurt, it just peels, really it’s the skin underneath that hurts because it’s baby skin and I cut my finger on a hanger or something at work today and I panicked because what if there was staph just waiting on my hand to jump into the cut on my finger, what if I get sick again

and later I wasn’t feeling well and I asked Robi if I had a fever and Noel said “tell her she has a fever” so I told him I’d kick him in the balls because I was freaking out about recurrence all day which Robi knew but Noel didn’t and poor Robi, his best friend died this morning, some serious emotional bonding today

but the moral of this story is that my palms are going to start peeling and I’m going to look even more hideous and I’m literally terrified by papercuts like who the fuck even am I right now, this is not me

1 year ago  #my life #tss #toxic shock syndrome #work #mario #noel #robi 

pardon me while I rant about my Toxic Shock Syndrome some more

My nurse told me that after talking to me about my Toxic Shock Syndrome he did a bit of research, and found that a lot of the recently reported cases of TSS involved properly used tampons. That is to say, a lot recent TSS cases were not caused by tampons left in for more than x hours, but actually by new tampons.

I don’t know what data he was looking at, but I do know that I got sick within a few hours of putting in a new tampon. (One? Two? I’m not quite sure, but somewhere in that range.) I got TSS even though I followed the rules.

So I want to know WHY THE FUCK the fucking tampon boxes with all their warning labels DON’T EVEN BOTHER TO MENTION that you can still get TSS from tampons even if you follow all the rules on the warning labels.

Sorry, I’m just really frustrated by the fact that I ended up in the ICU because of a stupid fucking tampon, that I could have avoided all of this if I’d just switched to menstrual cups a few years ago like I meant to. I had to take an incomplete for my courses for this term, I had to take two and a half weeks off work, I have no idea what my hospital bills look like but I know that shit was expensive as fuck. 

And every time I saw the little pamphlet about Toxic Shock Syndrome in my boxes of tampons, I thought to myself, “funny how that never happens anymore.” And then it happened to me.

1 year ago  #my life #tss #toxic shock syndrome  5 notes
Hey everyone. I guess this is a public service announcement of sorts, as well as an update on my life. This is me doing a saline push before I give myself my antibiotics. Why am I giving myself antibiotics through a PICC line? Because I got Toxic Shock Syndrome and spent the last week in hospital.
That’s right, Toxic Shock Syndrome, the thing that all your tampon packages warn you about, it actually still happens. Do me a favor and go throw out those tampon packages and buy a menstrual cup immediately, because I have news for you. Using a tampon of the right absorbency and taking it out in a timely manner WILL NOT prevent TSS. It will lessen the odds, but it WILL NOT prevent it completely. I got TSS from a brand new tampon of the right absorbency. I got sick almost immediately. Following the tampon box rules lessens your chances of getting TSS, but you can still get it anyway, which they don’t mention, which is kind of fucked up. I’ve been meaning to switch to menstrual cups for ages, and I really wish I’d gotten around to it sooner and prevented this entire ordeal.
I called an ambulance after spending two straight days vomiting. I thought I had the flu. Even the doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong right away, they just knew that I was extremely ill. I spent a week in hospital with some great doctors who were able to treat me and get me well again. Did you know most doctors never see a case of TSS? It’s pretty damn rare. They were testing for a bunch of other random infections when they realized that they should check for TSS. Also even after they get the infection under control, you still have to deal with symptoms. My skin on my fingers and elsewhere is peeling, and my hair might all fall out, so I might end up shaving my head. And I get to give myself antibiotics through a PICC line every day, which is only cool because it’s purple and has a bright pink sticker on it saying when it needs to be re-dressed. The only bright side was that the hospital had a pretty impressive vegetarian food menu, for when I was able to start eating again. I’m not really up for discussing what all happened in the hospital, so just know that I was extremely ill and it was very bad and I’d prefer not to worry people with the details.
So now I’m trying to catch up on a week’s worth of coursework, finals start on Monday and I’m sitting here still feeling kind of exhausted and wishing I could justify napping when I already slept until 2pm. Toxic Shock Syndrome is the worst thing I’ve ever experienced, I don’t think I need to explain how terrifying it is to have an infection trying to shut down your body. Tampons suck, y’all.
Oh, and my dad flew out to spend a few days with me, so I had someone to drive me home from the hospital and whatnot. We went to this place in North Portland where they serve you fish & chips in a Doctor Who-decorated room while you watch episodes of Doctor Who, it was pretty cool.

Hey everyone. I guess this is a public service announcement of sorts, as well as an update on my life. This is me doing a saline push before I give myself my antibiotics. Why am I giving myself antibiotics through a PICC line? Because I got Toxic Shock Syndrome and spent the last week in hospital.

That’s right, Toxic Shock Syndrome, the thing that all your tampon packages warn you about, it actually still happens. Do me a favor and go throw out those tampon packages and buy a menstrual cup immediately, because I have news for you. Using a tampon of the right absorbency and taking it out in a timely manner WILL NOT prevent TSS. It will lessen the odds, but it WILL NOT prevent it completely. I got TSS from a brand new tampon of the right absorbency. I got sick almost immediately. Following the tampon box rules lessens your chances of getting TSS, but you can still get it anyway, which they don’t mention, which is kind of fucked up. I’ve been meaning to switch to menstrual cups for ages, and I really wish I’d gotten around to it sooner and prevented this entire ordeal.

I called an ambulance after spending two straight days vomiting. I thought I had the flu. Even the doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong right away, they just knew that I was extremely ill. I spent a week in hospital with some great doctors who were able to treat me and get me well again. Did you know most doctors never see a case of TSS? It’s pretty damn rare. They were testing for a bunch of other random infections when they realized that they should check for TSS. Also even after they get the infection under control, you still have to deal with symptoms. My skin on my fingers and elsewhere is peeling, and my hair might all fall out, so I might end up shaving my head. And I get to give myself antibiotics through a PICC line every day, which is only cool because it’s purple and has a bright pink sticker on it saying when it needs to be re-dressed. The only bright side was that the hospital had a pretty impressive vegetarian food menu, for when I was able to start eating again. I’m not really up for discussing what all happened in the hospital, so just know that I was extremely ill and it was very bad and I’d prefer not to worry people with the details.

So now I’m trying to catch up on a week’s worth of coursework, finals start on Monday and I’m sitting here still feeling kind of exhausted and wishing I could justify napping when I already slept until 2pm. Toxic Shock Syndrome is the worst thing I’ve ever experienced, I don’t think I need to explain how terrifying it is to have an infection trying to shut down your body. Tampons suck, y’all.

Oh, and my dad flew out to spend a few days with me, so I had someone to drive me home from the hospital and whatnot. We went to this place in North Portland where they serve you fish & chips in a Doctor Who-decorated room while you watch episodes of Doctor Who, it was pretty cool.

1 year ago  #my life #tss #toxic shock syndrome #gpoy #photobooth  2 notes
Awwwww, look at 16-year-old me. Playing capture the flag.
I have literally no idea how I got up there.
(Going through my albums looking for photos to use mocking up a book cover, discovering things that aren’t on facebook so I’d completely forgotten about them.)

Awwwww, look at 16-year-old me. Playing capture the flag.

I have literally no idea how I got up there.

(Going through my albums looking for photos to use mocking up a book cover, discovering things that aren’t on facebook so I’d completely forgotten about them.)

1 year ago  #my life #high school  5 notes

So the dancing was fun. But she brought her babygay friend (like brand new, out for two weeks babygay) and also was meeting up with some girl from okcupid and yeah, things obviously changed between last time and this time that I should have picked up on but didn’t. I kissed her once but apparently was not on my game because my flirting was only mildly effective (no one is surprised). (Actually wait, I was getting hit on all night by a number of ladies and two annoying dudes, so my game was on point, it just wasn’t working with her.)

So at one point I turned around and she was making out with her friend, so I went and got another shot because obviously the solution was to get more drunk (wrong) and when I came back they were still making out, so I just kept dancing and waited for them to be done.

At the end of the night they disappeared, and then when I was outside calling myself a cab I ran into them and they ended up (mostly out of a sense of obligation, I’m pretty sure) giving me a ride home. Well, almost all the way home. We got downtown and we were listening to Closer (because lesbians) and Portland is lots of annoying one way streets, so they went “can you find your way from here?” and yeah, I could, no big deal, just two blocks, so I got out of the car. She got out, apparently to hug me goodbye, only decided to tackle-hug me.

She tackled me into the pavement, and while I didn’t pass out, in retrospect I was distinctly disoriented and kept repeating the same thing over and over and insisting I was okay. Because I thought I was. Then I woke up the next morning and realized I had a concussion.

Not a bad concussion, but definitely a concussion.

And I haven’t heard from her since.

And that, ladies and gentlemen of the internet, is why I won’t be dating girls I meet at work anymore.

1 year ago  #my life  1 note

So there was this customer, and I was exhausted and she was stunning and I utterly failed to flirt with her. She walked out and Roxy looked at me like I was an idiot and said, “why didn’t you give her your number?” and I felt DUMB.

And then she came back like a week and a half later. I’d just clocked out and had previously agreed to take a shift later that day for an associate who hadn’t shown up recently, so I was chatting with Mario about that before I went to kill my hour of free time. Mid-sentence he breaks off, “—that girl is checking you out.” I turned to peek, and sure enough, it’s the same girl.

And I had NO GAME WHATSOEVER. I went up to chat, and she thought I was talking to her friend and was like “oh you two know each other?” like NO, she is not why I’m here talking to you in my precious chain-smoking time when I’m working a split shift. You are why I’m here talking to you.

So I bounced and commenced with cigarettes and chai tea and texting Roxy and Roisin about how I have no game. After a single cigarette, Sarah came out laughing, “Mario got that girl’s number for you.” 

Oh yeah, my manager got this girl’s number for me.

At which point he complained, “I get numbers for everyone but ME!” Poor Mario.

1 year ago  #I'm not sure what the point of this story is #my life #mario #sarah #roxy  2 notes

That time my manager got a girl’s number for me while I was out smoking a cigarette.

"I have no game but you have game for me!"
"I have game for everyone!" 

1 year ago  #my life  1 note

while I’m talking about grad school

Today I was talking to my dad on the phone and multiple times in the conversation (a good hour and a half long) I got to explain things that I learned in class. I didn’t realize how much I’d learned about the publishing industry until the information became useful in a casual conversation with my father.

I’M GETTING A MASTER’S DEGREE IN PUBLISHING AND IT’S AWESOME.

1 year ago  #my life #grad school  5 notes
You ask to combine Back to the Future imagery with the Ooligan hook, I make a flux capacitor out of Ooligan hooks. BOOM.

You ask to combine Back to the Future imagery with the Ooligan hook, I make a flux capacitor out of Ooligan hooks. BOOM.

1 year ago  #my life #design