Just realized that the next-door neighbors have been having a party tonight. You know, the ones whose living room I can see into, just a few feet away, if I look out my bedroom window?
And I’ve been listening to PU$$Y by Iggy Azalea at full volume on repeat for most of the last 45 minutes.
Yes, my bedroom window is open and yes, their living room window is open, so yes, they have absolutely been treated to an almost nonstop repetition of PUSSY, PUSSY, PUSSY that I hope their guests enjoyed.
OPEN YA MOUTH, TASTE THE RAINBOW, TASTE MY SKITTLES
It’s all about consent and it’s so girl power and I miss the Spice Girls but this makes it almost okay. (Melanie, this is so girls’ studies and I wish you were home right now to talk about it with me!)
why am I always hit on by the boys I never like? I can always see them coming from the left and from the right I don’t wanna be a priss, I’m just trying to be polite but it always seems to bite me in the — ask me for my number, yeah, you put me on the spot you think that we should hook up but I think that we should not you had me at hello, then you opened up your mouth and that is when it started going south
get your hands off my hips or I’ll punch you in the lips stop your staring at my — take a hint, take a hint no you can’t buy me a drink, let me tell you what I think I think you could use a mint take a hint, take a hint…
I guess you still don’t get it, so let’s take it from the top you asked me what my sign, is I told you it was STOP and if I had a dime for every name you just dropped you’d be here and I’d be on a yacht
[chorus: get your hands off my hips, etc]
what about “NO” don’t you get? so go and tell your friends I’m not really interested it’s about time that you’re leaving, I’m gonna count to three open my eyes and you’ll be gone
(ONE) get your hands off my— (TWO) or I’ll punch you in the— (THREE) stop your staring at my— (HEY!) take a hint, take a hint
I am not your missing link, let me tell you what I think I think you could use a mint take a hint, take a hint… [chorus]
me: listening to Bach while reading me: still listening to Bach spotify: HEY you should listen to ONE DIRECTION for the next 45 seconds YEAH let’s do that, they’re cool me: please dear god bring the cellos back spotify: here, have more cellos spotify: oh and here’s an ad for “drinking songs” for St Patrick’s Day because that’s not ridiculous at all cellos: don’t worry, we’re still here, we love you spotify: you can keep your cellos for the next like… 15 minutes, but then we have something to say to you spotify: HEY YOU KNOW THAT JOURNEY SONG THAT THINKS “SOUTH DETROIT” EXISTS IN A WAY THAT ISN’T CANADA? cellos: let the strings fix it, make you feel all better