"I’m getting kind of tired of the whole hook-up thing."
"You’re allowed to be tired of it, you have a lot of sex. But I do not have enough sex and it is not okay."
"I don’t have any sex and I’m fine with it."
A ladycop strolls through our corner of the library.
"You’re a virgin, you’re allowed to not have sex. I need to have more sex."
"If you date him, you’ve got the reign to make him cut his hair. ‘I’ll fap you more if you cut your hair…’ "
"You have to play it biblical. Cut his hair while he’s sleeping."
"Consider, Samson’s power was in his hair. So if [his] power is all in his hair, and his power is all Co-op related, then cutting his hair would make him ULTIMATE!"