Jotting down thoughts re: Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS
I briefly scrolled through a few dozen reactions and my mind is blown that nobody (that I saw) considered that what Clara read was on the running header of the two spreads she flipped VERY QUICKLY through. Either author or chapter title. Maybe it’s just because I’m in publishing but that seemed pretty damn obvious to me.
Why is it not in Gallifreyan and who wrote it? Either the Doctor or… Professor River Song, archaeologist. Whose studies were dedicated to the Doctor, it’s implied, but knowing you’re a Time Lord genetically but not culturally, wouldn’t you study more than just one man? History of the Time War would be an appropriate doctoral thesis for River. Who would quite likely write in English and knows the Doctor’s name (thus putting it in a chapter title, is anyone following my logic?) Or…
Definitely heard Susan’s voice (along with a few others I could identify on first watch) but but but does that mean the show is going to more than casually acknowledge her existence/fate? Second recent reference to her that I’m aware of, which seems significant. Mayyyyybe she hasn’t been totally absent from his life, maybe she wrote the book.
And finally, spinning the toy TARDIS. If that wasn’t an intentional huge clue… They’re saying in teasers that she has seen the Doctor far more than the times we’ve been given. I’m just saying, regeneration, memory wipe, something, I’m willing to entertain the possibility that they’re the same person.
Okay I lied, one more thing. This episode paid major dues to the classic series in a subtle way I wish were more common in New Who. But it also reminded me that we used to see companions’ bedrooms and I was a little surprised that Clara never even noted the door of her room while running about, which would be a reasonable way to attempt to assess one’s location. Anyway, I have a feeling a lot of little bits from this episode are hinting at the anniversary episode in one way or another.
Every day I wear perfume that I buy because I think it makes me smell delicious, like “let’s fuck right now” status delicious.
But I’m terrified of my vagina, because my reproductive system tried to kill me two months ago and I’m not over it.
I’d very much like to have sex again, but I’m pretty sure I’d freak out and start crying and no.
So I think it’s time to revisit my prior plans to buy a lelo, since I think my bank account can probably handle that soon if not now.
Skipped class with a professor I respect a lot and would love to work with one day because I didn’t finish the homework because it’s very difficult to make myself care about anything right now. Just realized I have more homework due tomorrow because that’s how things work. I just can’t right now but I have to and why the hell is my xanax on the other side of the room?
I’m supposed to be at a press meeting right now, but I haven’t been able to convince myself out of bed because I had a dream where my legs still weren’t strong enough for me to stand on my own and it was generally a bad dream beyond that. Apparently I have PTSD. Like I’m not just saying that, I did the self report and came out with a pretty high score. So I’m burritoed in my bed drifting in and out of sleep trying to have a better dream before I get up and do things. I thought PTSD was about hallucinating you’re back in a traumatic experience but nope, having nightmares and not sleeping well and having no motivation to be productive and being afraid of things associated with the traumatic experience and all that, that’s PTSD.
(Because I have lucid dreams about 95% of the time, my definition of nightmare is a bit different… I could control most elements of last night’s dream, and made plenty of bad things go away, but new bad things kept happening and I was too weak to walk no matter what. Most of my bad dreams since I got sick are like that, something associated with my being sick that isn’t too terrible plus a barrage of stressful elements that I can’t replace with better ones.)